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by orphan_account



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, Autistic Heather McNamara, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sort Of, i had absolutely no clue what to title this so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21789703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Heather wasn't dumb. (At least, she didn't think she was.) No, Heather's brain just worked differently to others. So most of the time she just shut up and did what Heather C. and Heather D. told her to. It was easier that way.
Relationships: Heather Chandler & Heather Duke & Heather McNamara, Heather McNamara & Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





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**Author's Note:**

> i guess you could sort of call this a heather mcnamara character study? i don't really know

Contrary to popular belief, Heather wasn't dumb. (At least, she didn't think she was.) No, Heather's brain just worked differently to others. So most of the time she just shut up and did what Heather C. and Heather D. told her to. It was easier that way.

It was easier than explaining why she had complimented Veronica so strangely, easier than explaining why she thought making Veronica forge that note was wrong, easier than explaining why she'd rather just be another person in the crowd then a Heather.

It was easier to pretend she fit in.

Back in kindergarten, Heather had been strange.

She'd started talking later than her classmates, she'd flapped her hands whenever she was happy or excited, she would fixate on certain interests and would only talk about them, and she'd have moments where she would completely shut down and become extremely quiet.

At the time, none of her classmates cared. After all, she was good at games like hide and seek. That was all that had mattered back then.

Then they started elementary school.

Everyone suddenly started caring a little more about their behaviour, but the change wasn't really noticeable until the very last year of elementary school. Then all anyone cared about was whether or not you looked pretty and acted normal.

At first, people were on the fence about Heather. She was pretty. A little chubby cheeked, sure, but pretty. But she flapped her hands, and had her moments where she wouldn't talk, and had weird interests. They left her alone for the moment, but Heather knew the moment they got to middle school, she be judged mercilessly.

So over that Summer vacation, she got her act together. She suppressed her urge to flap her hands, forced herself to talk even when she didn't want to, and stopped herself from discussing her interests.

When they came back to school, Heather C. and Heather D. deemed her worthy enough to remain their friend. And it stayed that way until senior year.

In senior year, everything changed.

Heather was overjoyed when they gave Veronica a makeover and welcomed her into the group. It was refreshing to have someone new, someone who was actually sort of nice.

And then Heather C. declared they were going to ruin Veronica's reputation. And then Heather C. committed suicide that night.

It was shocking. Heather C. was untouchable. She was perfect. She was- _seemed_ happy.

Heather D. assumed Heather C.'s position, and Heather didn't see reason to argue. Sure, she was meaner, but without her Heather wouldn't quite be sure what to do with herself.

The first time Heather realised she shouldn't be friends with Heather D. anymore was just after Ram Sweeney and Kurt Kelly's joint suicide.

Heather had opened up about her own thoughts. She told everyone about how she felt like if she slipped up even once, she'd thrown overboard and left there to drown. And she had been ridiculed.

Heather D. had turned the student body against her and mocked her. She'd called her childish, and encouraged her to kill herself, just like Heather C. did.

That night, Heather tried to down a bottle of pills. She couldn't open it. (Or maybe, she could. Maybe she was just scared. Maybe this was just her giving herself a reason to stay alive for now. Heather wasn't sure.)

Then the prep rally had rolled around. Jason Dean had been saying Veronica had died, but Heather didn't want to believe it. She couldn't lose another friend. Especially not the realest one she had.

Then the explosion in the football field had happened.

While everyone recovered from the shock, Veronica put Heather C.'s red scrunchy in her hair and stood and faced the gathered teens.

She talked about how they could recover from this, how they were still young, how there didn't need to be more Heathers.

Heather walked over to her and smiled. Even after everything, maybe there was a little hope.

Veronica invited her to hang out with her and another girl called Martha.

Heather had the most fun she had had in a long time at Veronica's house, watching The Princess Bride and eating popcorn.

As school went on and they recovered, the hierarchy dissolved. People hung out freely, and everyone was less scared.

It wasn't perfect- Heather D. was still mean, and some other people were still jerks- but it was an improvement.

And, after about six long years, Heather could finally be herself again.

And it was the happiest she had felt since kindergarten.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments are very much appreciated! my tumblr is @astrologystump if you want to leave a request!


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